Everything you need to know about squirting
“It only happened with certain partners. Sometimes I felt embarrassed, other times it was a sign that I was super turned on.”
One of my clients explained her experiences with squirting to me, later saying that she didn’t understand it in the beginning. “I honestly thought I had peed myself, I was mortified at first!”
Vaginal ejaculation, or “squirting,” is one of the more mysterious, and misunderstood sexual functions.
Some people wonder if it’s pee. Others think it’s actually ejaculate because it doesn’t have a strong urine smell. Meanwhile, many wonder if it’s even possible in the first place.
So what is squirting exactly? What makes it possible? Can anyone with a vulva do it? And if so, HOW do you do it?
Breakout your wet suits and bring your umbrellas -- today we’re going to dive into the slippery world of squirting.
But... why?
Many vulva-havers say that squirting is an extremely intense experience that, once accomplished, feels euphoric. One study found that 80% of women who've experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives.
Squirting can feel like the cherry on top of an intense orgasm, or a stand-alone event that offers a new visual affirmation of pleasure.
For some trans and nonbinary folks, squirting can be gender-affirming, while providing a glimpse of what sex is like for penis-havers.
According to a recent study, one transgender man referred to the experience as almost a role reversal, claiming that, “Squirting feels to me what I imagine jizzing would feel like if I had a penis.”
But the sensation of squirting isn’t the same for everyone. It isn’t inherently masculine or feminine -- it can mean different things for different bodies. And for some bodies, it isn't actually physically attainable.
More on that later, but first...
What is squirting, exactly?
Squirting starts within the vagina, where a sponge-like tissue surrounding the urethra gets ready for action. This area is called the paraurethral glands, or “Skene’s gland,” and it’s covered with pockets.
When a vagina is stimulated the right way, these pockets fill with fluid. With continuous vigorous stimulation, this fluid is forcefully discharged causing what we know to be squirting.
The ejaculate that shoots out is generally watery in nature, and on a molecular level is similar to prostate secretions.
Many of my clients want to know, “Is it pee?”
My answer: Yes and no.
This watery ejaculate (also known as “Skene’s fluid”) definitely does include traces of urine, as it is expelled from a gland that surrounds the urethra and passes through the urethra (where pee comes out) as it exists the body. But since this liquid is being secreted by what is commonly referred to as the “female prostate”, it isn't technically pee either.
It’s actually a combination of multiple fluids.
The glands that make squirting possible are still a bit of an enigma to the scientific community. Partially because patriarchy, but also because not all Skene’s glands are the same size or easily located, which is why it may be difficult to impossible for some bodies to squirt.
So if you and/or your vulva-having partner have never squirted before and would like to, go into it with an open mind. Try to let go of the pressure to perform and definitely don’t fixate on what you may have seen in porn.
Squirting (if possible) is different for everyone!
How to squirt.
The only way to truly find out if you (or your partner) can squirt is to try. I tell my clients to go into this with patience and curiosity. It can be a fun adventure to discover what your body is capable of!
Just remember that every vulva reacts in its own unique way to stimuli. So don’t be disappointed if it’s not exactly what you were expecting. Whether it’s a small splash or a gushing geyser, squirting is still squirting. Though there is debate about female ejaculation vs. squirting, generally speaking the amount of fluid doesn’t equal the intensity of the pleasure being felt.
Here’s a step-by-step breakdown and a few things to remember when attempting your first squirting session:
Prep
Find somewhere relaxing that you don’t mind getting a little wet (or a lot). For many this is simply in bed with a few towels down. Some of my clients who squirt often report having good luck with waterproof mattress liners. Or if you’re looking for some kink, latex bed sheets can add to the fun!
Foreplay
One of the first steps to unlocking squirting is being relaxed AND being turned on! For some clients it’s easier to start off with the idea of squirting being a bonus. Really focus in on the pleasure of what you or you and a partner are doing. Fixating on squirting can make the act even harder.
Work the G-spot
Once you’re feeling good and turned on, insert two fingers into the vagina and locate the G-spot on the anterior (top) wall of the vagina about 1-2 inches in. Either the index and middle finger or the middle and ring finger work here. You can also stimulate this area with a toy that has a curved and bulbous head. Start by pushing on it or moving your fingers back and forth across it - the surface may feel ridged. When you’re ready, move your fingers in a “come here” motion, curling them inwards. Don’t be afraid to apply pressure!
Add pressure to your abdomen
It may take a few tries to find this specific spot for you or your partner, but adding pressure to the abdomen just above where the fingers are can make squirting more intense and easier to achieve. Pushing down with a hand on top of the abdomen while making the “come here” motion inside can feel very intense for some, so take it slow!
Relax into the feeling
Squirting feels different from an orgasm, in fact, often it can feel like you’re about to pee at first. This can be super alarming for my clients! But once you get used to the feeling you can learn to let go and push out (like you would if you were going to pee). The key is to not tighten up here, you want to relax your pelvic floor muscles. Also if you’re nervous about peeing, use the bathroom beforehand.
Try different positions
Lying flat on your back isn’t always the best position for those looking to squirt for the first time. Try different positions, and note that many vulva-havers have found that standing, with one leg slightly raised on a stool or chair, or bent over and stimulated from behind delivers the fastest results.
I’m here to help.
If you’re struggling with squirting, can’t find the G-spot, or just want to learn more -- I’m here to help. Check out my Allbodies course SQUIRTING 101. You’ll learn what it is, controversies around it, and exactly how to stimulate your body to release that juice! Click here to sign up for Allbodies Health and access the course.
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